July 24, 2010 12:46am

Brad: I'm bought to cook some home fries
         I think I told you earlier, I'd only had like 600 calories all day
         the whiskey adds another thousand, you'd figure
         So I got 400 left
         FOR HOME FRIES, FUCKER

May 22, 2010 11:55pm

Brad: HA  milkman

 me: ?

 Brad: HA

  milkman

  I got a call from Chris's cell phone

  I didn't answer, but the message said that Bo was going to a titty bar, and wanted us to come

August 29, 2012 12:22pm

Brad:  OKAY, Robert Plant

            We'll go to Mordor

            Just shut up about it already, ya fruit.

October 15, 2011 8:42 am

Brad: FUCKIN' BULLSHITASS DONUT SHOP DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S DOIN me: for realnow shut up i'm going to mcdonald's  Brad: NONONO MAN  I'M PISSED  MAKE IT BETTER

February 9, 2011 2:21 pm

Brad: ANOTHER 48 hours???As if the first 48 weren't enough/1/1//1'

May 22, 2012 9:59 am

Brad: BUMP DICKS  BUMP THEM DICKS BUMP DICKS

April 13, 2010. 12:23 pm.

Brad: You ever jizzed on an electric fence?

 me: not yet

 Brad: ouch

 me: i'll trust you on that

Brad: and every spurt is painful                  anyways

   My standup act doesn't translate well on chat